A MySchizophreniaTeam Subscriber

My husband's genetics and family hx and he was sexually raped sotomized by a grown man at 8years old and drugged while stay at a neighbor's house w his best friend his bf dad lured him into basement where he said I know you like mechanical learning we are going to work on a lawnmower riding mower and got him excited he loved working on cars lawnmowers w his grandpa he taught him mechanic skills he could fix anything but was never good w school got in there and he offered him a beer in basement laced w drugs to make him pass out when he woke up the bf dad was raping him at 8 years old it was years before he confided in me as his wife I told him to journal his thoughts and anything he wants to write bc it helps healing process some it did me but he let me read some I cried for weeks reading what this horrible grown pedophile did to my husband I loved w my everything why??? Do people hurt children why? Why would anyone do something so evil I was crying for weeks then years to come I believe trauma causes the mental illness to come on much faster in people especially if a family member passed it down in genes he was a good loving husband but had a deep cut across his heart and soul he got worse every year suicide attempts over and over he had a very low self esteem and he tried hard to be a good supporter before he got really bad in 2018 he had his first schizoaffect episode he was talking to his dead grandpa 25 minutes and discussed working on lawnmowers then at end of conversation hallucinating he said grandpa you want me to run over her w lawnmower and kill her? And we were both in bed he was literally in a deep fixation w hallucinating and I tried talking to him but he didn't hear me at all bc he was like in a trance so deep he was like in another place almost it was very upsetting to me bc I'm a nurse and I knew immediately he had his first schizoaffect episode I was in so much heartache for him I got up out of bed to call his mother to tell her had my phone. In my hand and he raised up stood up talking still